In 2009 I returned home to Aberdeen after training to be a furniture maker. I moved in with my sister for a few months, she had a new baby and in between job searching we went walking every day for miles.
Jobs were a scarce in my chose field but with an office background I eventually found a small office job working 8:30am to 4:30pm. I move in to my mums (closer to the job), I went swimming two mornings a week, I ran three times a week and had the occasional game of badminton or squash.
A year on I was in the best shape of my life.
And I met a great guy! Woohooo!
I secured a position with the only cabinet maker in the area. Initially working in his office with a little workshop time, it was a good drive and longer hours for a small wage but it was what I wanted.
Life seemed on track.
The early start didn't allow me enough time to get to the pool so I gave up swimming. Then I gradually dropped running, being home later I was often tired and wasn't keen of running in the dark. Ultimate upset came in 2011 when I developed tennis elbow, a typical side effect of a repetitive movement, in my case sanding and planing. My elbow really got me down. I know I wasn't particularly good at racket sports but I really enjoyed them.
Though I loved what I was doing my employer had a very stern approach and I would often drive home in tears believing I wasn't cut out for this line of work.
I was down and eating for comfort.
My energy levels and mood were dangerously low. I began being snappy with my partner and hated myself immediately afterwards. Having battled with depression in the past I could see signs that scared me. My family have always supported me in all I do, they were all to aware that I wasn't myself and they wanted my to leave my job. I didn't want to admit defeat so early in 2012 I reduced my working hours in an attempt to regain some control. I started swimming with my friend again but I couldn't seem to get into running.
My mood lifted a little but I was still down at work and I continued to eat for comfort.
By mid 2012 I had been living with my partner for a year when he was offered a new job in London. I was really pleased for him but, more than that, I was ecstatic at the thought of a new beginning. Handing in my notice filled me with relief, a clear sign that it was long overdue.
We moved to London and agreed I should use the opportunity to become self employed. After a couple of months I found a bench in a shared workshop. The real thrill is that this space is filled with some of the most talented and kind people I've ever met.
Beginning from scratch is hard work and I sometimes work long hours. I mostly get work passed on to me from my co-workers, I consider myself very lucky to have this opportunity. I'm good at my job and I love it.
So what's my current situation?
Diet
I eat well, have a fondness for iced buns and have never counted calories or fat (until now).
Exercise
I've never got my fitness back under control, a problem I share with my sister. Though we did start the Insanity workouts and, we understand that muscle is a strange and curious matter but, we were crushed as our weight went up and our clothes felt tighter. Result, comfort eat!
Life
Many items of my wardrobe hang limp, like ghosts of a previous life, a life where I was sexy and happy. I avoid getting involved in group things, like a cycling weekend or swimming with new friends as I am embarrassed about my shape and I often can't afford it.
The Conclusion
I've been on an emotional and physical roller coasted but now I'm on a steady bit of track I feel like I'm in a good place to really look at myself and push myself out of my comfort zone. It's time for change.
Stage 1
I need to record what I'm currently doing then take a good look at the results. (I can already see that I don't eat nearly enough raw fruit and veg.)
Stage 2
Look at what I want to be doing differently and what is preventing me from doing it now, then address the issues.
Stage 3
Shake Up! Improve the diet and plan my physical activity.
All the while I'm going to read articles and keep you updated.
Wish me well. x
